From Burnout to Burnished
Each of us is weaving something - and every single one of us is using what I have started calling a Burnished Thread... Highly polished, shining, this thread is linking sometimes seemingly disparate concepts together. Some of us are more aware of our thread than others, but it's there for each of us.
I have always struggled, like many of us do, with intense imposter syndrome. In an attempt to combat this, I launched my first offering of peer-supported counseling services under the banner of Yarrow+Oak in July of 2017. Yarrow for healing, used to staunch bleeding. Oak for strength, reach & depth. I started taking Tarot clients professionally under that umbrella. Of course, I had no idea what I was doing when it came to properly supporting those clients, but I thought I had a healthy grasp of professional ethics & boundary maintenance. Additionally, I had recently graduated with a 4 year Bachelors degree, the last 2 years of which were seemingly endless counseling & psychology classes. I thought that would be enough. It wasn't and I was doing those who worked with me a disservice as I was deeply unprepared. It took me a long time, and a lot of migraine headaches to figure out how to do this work carefully. Reiki training helped as well.
If you are familiar with Astrology, between December of 2017 & December of 2020, I entered and lived deep in the belly of my first Saturn Return. During that 3 year time, I joined a Coven, helped open a metaphysical boutique, held 2 corporate service industry management positions, lost family members and friends, & I myself was stretched to nearly breaking. As many will know, this process is an extremely transformative journey. Because of the emotional turmoil of that process, I began to lose my creative energy & my desire to participate in life “per usual”. During 2021, I pulled away from social media but continued trying to push myself by hosting educational lectures, giving many amazing Tarot readings, keeping the metaphysical boutique open… and in October, I found out I was pregnant.
It was the greatest blessing and the hardest thing I have ever accomplished. I worked more that 50 hrs per week at that job while very pregnant, and only left work when I was “written out” by my midwife because my body was no longer a safe place for my son to be. We were induced early and my birth story is a novel for another time. My management position afforded me 1 single week of maternity pay. In some masochistic way, I continued to work for that company for another 9 months before quitting in May of 2023, just weeks before my child’s first birthday and was there when he began to walk.
Each month, each year had blurred, one to the next - I was intensely productive & effective at working for other people and helping their visions be put into action, but I was pummeling head-long into creative burnout, leaving no time for play or experimentation. I took a position working for a friend at her skincare studio and almost immediately, all of my dreams for what Yarrow+Oak could have been came flooding back to me, but I had changed & expanded. It took a little while, but here we are.
The kind of world I'm working to build going forward is warm & enriching. I am looking forward to helping others who, like me, have grown tired of speed & efficiency being the only options available.
We yearn for ease & focus. Our lives seek Ritual.
